It's all too weird for me
01.09.2008 - 11.09.2008
Made it down to london last week and things have been going ok. On the 1st I started keeping a handwritten journal about all the crazy things I plan to get up to - though to be honest not much has happened.
It's nice having the ananimity of being in such a big place, way to many attracive people but that's a given and even though its really big it's also really small. Not liking the people who give out those bloody free London newspapers, all weird for some reason and very full on, I mean it's a bloody free newspaper, take your time it means nothing!
Staying with J has been ace, though I think am driving him insane with my wonderful romantic view of life and the world - is it too romantic? I really don't see it I think if there is something you want to do you should do it, and I've tried doing all the good things and now I want to break away, is that to bad, you do you think? sure one way or another J will tell me what I need to do.
Been walking all over London, well the centre anyway, for most of the night. J said that there are 'issue' with me dossing on his couch. Not from him or T but his other housemate O. So staying out till about 1-2am I think has made it a bit more easy for me to be a bit of a ghost there - kind miss the fact that am not really spending a lot of time with J - he works way to much 13 hours yesterday! We're going to have lunch today though think as always I'll be talking about the wonders of the world and how we don't have to be beholden to 'the man' and j will roll his eyes and tell me to wake up and smell the corporate machine of empty meaning - what!
Was talking with J about work and that 'everyone has to work' was what I was told. And I agree but you know I have worked and I have dedicated 100% and all that crap and what I have I gained, anything? Don't think this is me at all and don't think at my age I can start to be re-educated in a job, the E thing was a good eye opener, what a toss-pot of crap. Is it me, do I have a problem with being told what to do? I refuse to think that I have the problem all I wanted was the chance to do a great job an no matter what those ideas are no one seems to bothered, so crew them.
So am not work-shy J!
And for those of you reading this and thinking you must be educated screw off. I spent so long at University and what they offer is nothing. Do I want to spend time in a graduate job, pushing papers and not using the degree I loved? That's just not me. I don't want a degree for the sake of a degree, simple as that really. I wanted to go to university and change the world, something I told J a few years ago that was impossible. A mistake I think I will never live down.
University is good for some people but for what I wanted all it did was kill the spirit and determination I had for life and my future - dark I know but this is my blog and I'll write what I want.
H - London 10th